Novice Dads, But Just As Skilled

Parenting is learned through experience, as no one is born with the necessary skills. However, it is a process that must be enjoyed at all times, including learning from mistakes.

It is often said that there is nothing as “dangerous” as new parents. It is a mistake, because the first-time father also begins as a first-time mother in the art of care, in the universe of affection, in the adventure of diapers and in the journey of sleepless nights.

Even today, we live in a society very marked by gender roles. Novice dads don’t know what pregnancy or breastfeeding is, yet most of them understand that responsible parenting has other guidelines beyond giving birth or breastfeeding. We are talking about attention and care, two dimensions for which they also have a genetic predisposition.

Because sometimes, the poorest man gives his children the richest legacy, and it is that of that love capable of giving a foundation to an emotional brain that develops as it should. To a self-esteem that finds wings in everything that a father gave us in our childhood. Today’s dads are not dedicated only to maintaining a family or exercising a punitive education based on orders and punishments.

At present, we could go beyond the well-known classification of “permissive, authoritarian and democratic parents” to speak of parents skilled in Emotional Intelligence.

In “You are mom” we invite you to reflect on it.

Novice dads and uncertainty

The mother’s doubts and uncertainties are almost always discussed during the pregnancy stage. It is that moment when the sharpest doubts appear, sometimes even naive or even existentialist. Will I be a good mother? Will my son love me? What if I do something wrong? Will the delivery go well?

We focus all the attention on mothers because without a doubt, they are the protagonists in this process, but … . What about novice dads? What are your doubts, your fears, your thoughts? 

• The man who is a father for the first time often feels as scared as the mother herself. However, that fear is softened by the illusion and by the realization that his life is going to change from now on.

• The young father or the man in his maturity who receives the news of his next fatherhood, usually perceives that fact as a before and after.

• The brain of a man usually undergoes very concrete changes at this point. Novice dads “prepare” almost without realizing what is to come.

• The scientific journal “Lives Science” revealed aspects such as that the neural network linked to emotions increases in the same way as it does in the brain of women.

• Likewise, it is interesting to know that they also see changes in their oxytocin levels, they rise whenever they are close to their affective partner, thus developing a behavior of protection and attention that will later be extended to that new member of the family when they come. .

The expert father in Emotional Intelligence

We pointed it out at the beginning. It is time to add one more category to the classification of authoritarian, permissive and democratic parents. It is time to talk about the expert parent in Emotional Intelligence.

Here we describe some of its characteristics.

Novice dads who are skilled at affections and emotions

Dads are also skilled at empathy and understanding when their babies need the warmth of affection as well as that milk feed every three hours.

• They know how to manage their children’s emotions, they teach them to calm their tantrums, to vent their fears. Because dad, he’s that superhero who stays by the bedside to prevent the monsters from the cupboards from appearing.

• They are good confidants. Children have exceptional support from their parents where they can share their concerns just as they do with their mothers. 

Novice dads who understand that education starts from day one

Today, many parents choose to stay at home to raise their children while couples take care of financial support. There are also those who face upbringing alone.

• One thing parents know is that raising a child does not begin at 3 or 6 years old. A child is educated in Emotional Intelligence from birth giving him security, giving him the food of caresses, responding to all his needs, quenching his cries and giving him positive words.

So there are no novice dads, just as there are no novice moms. There are fathers and mothers eager to give the best to their children.