How To Help Children Protect Themselves From Toxic People?
The people we surround ourselves with have a huge influence on our thoughts and mood. For this reason, it is so necessary to carefully select the environments in which we move. This is especially relevant when we talk about children: especially vulnerable beings in the process of development. Teaching them to protect themselves from toxic people will bring them closer to a happier and more peaceful life.
We all remember that teacher who made us feel incapable, that friend who took advantage of us or that family member who tried to manipulate us through guilt. For children, it can be difficult to identify that these behaviors are harmful and, even more, to find a strategy to protect themselves against them. So let’s give them the tools to avoid harm.
Are there toxic people?
First of all, you have to know that there are no ‘toxic people’ as such, but rather ‘toxic behaviors’. Those who initiate aggressive, manipulative or humiliating behaviors are generally injured individuals. Human beings who did not receive the love, support, or understanding they needed. When they act in these inappropriate ways, it is their damaged emotions that are speaking for them.
The purpose of identifying these people is not to generate any kind of negative feelings towards them, it is only to protect ourselves. Therefore, we must transmit compassion and understanding for others to children, understanding that each person experiences certain circumstances and those who harm are usually damaged.
However, everyone’s priority must always be himself : we cannot endanger our health or our integrity by trying to help someone who does not want to be helped.
To protect yourself from toxic people you have to identify them
First, we need to help children recognize what behaviors are unacceptable and can cause harm. To make this task easier for them, it is essential to provide them with a healthy and strong self-esteem. An infant with a low self-concept may come to tolerate abuse due to insufficient security and confidence.
In the same way, the interaction guidelines established at home will guide the child as to what is to be expected. If we, as parents, address him with love, understanding and respect, he will internalize that this is the healthy and natural pattern for communication.
Let’s try to explain to him, with practical examples, how other people are to address him, and what kinds of behaviors should set off his alarm bells. It must be clear that violence, physical or verbal, humiliation or indifference are intolerable acts.
Choose the environment
The main and most effective step in protecting yourself from toxic people is to select an environment free of them. That is, choose carefully the people we surround ourselves with and stay away from those who treat us disrespectfully. Let’s help the child to differentiate a good friend from a harmful one and convey to him the idea that he has the right not to invest his time in those who make him feel bad.
Surrounding yourself with caring, understanding and supportive people with good values will make a complete difference in your day-to-day life and growth. Let him choose his friends, but always after having understood that he deserves the best company and that he is completely free to walk away from those who harm him.
The bubble to protect yourself from toxic people
There are certain situations in which it is not possible to stay out of toxic people. This is the case of family members or teachers, people with whom children are obliged to interact. In this case, we can encourage the child to imagine a bubble around him every time he goes to meet these people. So when you receive hurtful words or behaviors, you have to remember your bubble and imagine how they try to enter it without succeeding: you are protected.
Later, it will be necessary for the little one to share with us his experience and how he has felt. Fortunately, during childhood, the main reference is the parents, therefore, your word and your opinion carry more weight than anyone else’s.
Finally, remind him and assure him of the great qualities he has; Tell him about his talent, his goodness, his intelligence and his perseverance. In this way, we will be educating a free and secure human being, capable of finding approval in himself.
