Overly Responsible Children: 8 Keys To Prevent Them From Suffering
There are children who are too responsible for themselves without parents having to instill in them the importance of responsibility because they already have it. All parents want our children to commit to what they do and to be responsible, although we must be careful not to instill excessive responsibility because it would end up making children suffer.
Responsibility is an important value in people’s lives; It motivates us to care, to be able to make decisions and have a commitment to them, to accept the consequences that our decisions and actions may have.
That children are very responsible for their age should not worry us, however, there are some “excessively responsible”, and this excess can lead to situations of suffering in the little ones. Therefore, we are going to give you some keys to prevent overly responsible children from suffering.
Overly responsible kids
Overly responsible children are children with very high demands who worry excessively about everything around them. They may even feel that other people and what they feel are their responsibility, which sometimes causes feelings of guilt in them.
It is good to teach the little ones to be responsible, but in the right measure, we must not fall into the error of demanding too much of them. This precisely can lead them to be very critical of themselves and make them suffer. So what is raising responsible children? It is teaching children to take charge of their things and tasks, while learning the consequences of not doing so.
It is essential that we do not establish responsibilities above those they can assume with respect to their age and maturity. Therefore, children have to gradually take charge of things so as not to fall into excesses. It is about learning, as in other things, and here our trust in them will play a very important role.
How can we know if they are too responsible children for their age?
Sometimes we are faced with children who seem like small adults from an early age. They feel a great responsibility for their things and for those of others and this situation can sometimes be fostered by the attitude of the family.
At first, this should not worry us, but we should observe if the child has a low tolerance for frustration and always wants everything to be perfect from the first moment. This is when we have to analyze and see if we are demanding too much of them; if so, they may feel like they let us down if they don’t make it perfect.
Characteristics of overly responsible children
- They get along better with older adults or children than with those their age.
- They don’t want anyone to help them; they all want to do it themselves.
- They are very responsible with their things, very neat and clean.
- They are typical “model children” in school, both in behavior and performance.
- They tend to be introverted children.
With these boys the displays of affection and affection will play an important role. It is important that we let them know that it is not bad to make mistakes, that we all learn from mistakes and that we are not going to feel bad because they have made mistakes. We must make them understand that we are going to love them the same regardless of their achievements or failures.
Keys so that overly responsible children do not suffer
It is advisable to treat them with love and affection, and to have complicity with them, at the same time that we are clear and firm when necessary. This will help them feel that we love them for who they are and not for how they behave or do things.
We are going to see below some keys to avoid that overly responsible children suffer from some of the situations they may encounter.
Don’t talk about troublesome situations in front of them
By talking about problematic situations in front of them, we would be increasing their anxiety, overloading them with responsibilities that are not appropriate for their age.
Explain that we love them for what they are, not for what they achieve
It is important to let them know that the love we feel towards them is unconditional, that we will love them no matter what. That they do not need to please anyone, but to do things for them, who are the truly important ones.
Promote your strengths and self-confidence
We can encourage them to express their opinions or wishes, we will praise their good deeds and avoid censoring their expressions. What they need is to reduce the insecurity they feel when they think they have not done something right.
Serve them with some speed
These children do not usually demand much of our attention, so when they need us to listen to them, it is important that we take care of them immediately.
Tell them the truth when something affects them
If there is an issue that also affects them, it is important that we tell them the truth, and tell them that they are issues that they do not have to worry about, that they are things that the elderly should solve.
Teach them that failures and mistakes are learning opportunities
It is important that we teach them that mistakes can teach us many things, that it is not necessary that everything always turn out perfect. Many times things go well after several attempts and this does not mean that you should feel bad or guilty. Not all things always turn out perfect, but the intention is what counts.
Promote a climate of trust between us
That at home there is an atmosphere of trust between everyone is going to be very important, since this will encourage dialogue and that they express at all times how they feel; q ue freely talk to us and tell us everything that concerns them.
Educate them in assertiveness
If we educate them to be assertive children, it will strengthen their self-esteem and they will be able to defend themselves against demands from others who take advantage of their high responsibility. This will make them improve their relationship with themselves and with others, without considering themselves more or less than other people.
In short, there are children who are too responsible who are innately responsible. Therefore, it is important that we realize it and that we do not have a high level of demand with them, since they will end up suffering if at some point they do not meet our expectations.
Always remember to be affectionate with your children, as this will make them trust that you love them for who they are and not for what they achieve or achieve. This is essential so that these children with excessive responsibility do not suffer.
