Parents Who Disagree On Education

It is important to find a middle ground between the opinions of the parents. This is the only way to avoid negative consequences for children. In this article we will explore some basic recommendations to deal with this problem.

There are well-known popular sayings such as that “each person is a world” or “to taste colors. However, on issues such as a child’s upbringing, the very different personalities of each parent can be a problem. What happens to parents who disagree? Let’s get to know this situation in depth.

Parents who disagree

The problem of parents who disagree, whether in education or another area of ​​parenting, occurs when the authority of one of the parents is undermined. If we lose patience in front of our child and collide with the other member of the couple, we can enter very dangerous terrain.

Let’s not forget that our children are true “sponges” who learn everything they see or are interested in. If they discover this type of weakness in the couple, they may take advantage of it, or they may not, but they will be confused, so it is a risk that we should not take.

Also, for the child’s own sake, it is best for both parties to agree on how to treat, raise and educate the child. In this way we avoid confusion or misinterpretation of the situation.

Thus, any disagreement between the parents should be dealt with in private, never before the child. It is also necessary to reach agreements that satisfy both, otherwise, one of the members will feel uncomfortable, something that the child will perceive and that will create discomfort in the family environment.

What to do with parents who disagree on education

As it is, it is better that there is an agreement between the parties, as is logical. For this reason we are going to propose some ideas that can be very useful for parents. The psychopedagogue Reyes Armada has written many on the subject and considers that:

• Agreements between parents are very necessary. The foundations on which the educational principles of the child will be built must be laid. Beliefs cannot be underestimated, but ideas must be reaffirmed. If necessary, one has to resort to professional help.

• However, Armada considers it vital that both parents sit down and create an action plan that involves joint actions. It is necessary to stipulate aspects that must be worked on in depth and that do not clash with the ideas of one of the parents. The purpose must be clarified and tasks distributed as well. But it is absolutely necessary that any disagreement be corrected in private and that none of the parties abuse being too punitive, permissive, overprotective …
• First of all, it is necessary to avoid excessive reactions to the child, as well as resentment. If something has happened that angers us, it is better not to be remembering it all the time. Both parties must make an empathetic effort to understand each other and reach fair deals that value all views and points of view.

What can happen to the lack of agreements between parents

The lack of agreements between parents regarding education can bring about really unpleasant situations. Some of the most worrisome are also commented on by Reyes Armada, a professional psychopedagogue:

• The child, faced with the situation, could develop inconsistent habits. Not knowing what to expect, he lives in a state of constant confusion.

• You might discover a way to fix problems based on arguing, irascibility, and yelling.
• If the child sees that neither his parents agree, he will make his own decisions. In other words, we are opening the door for him to do what he wants or considers more convenient, while he is still a very small boy.
• You will create your own way of getting your punishments lifted almost immediately.
• Since his parents constantly take away authority, the child will act in the same way, not only with his parents, but in his own life. For him it will be the logical way to proceed, as it is what he sees at home.

• The little one will take the attitude of that father who considers that he always “wins” fights in disagreements.
• The boy will question all authority, since common sense is not exercised at home.

So mothers and fathers, it is necessary that you all go in the same direction. Not only will you be fuller and happier, your children will appreciate it, because they need it for a proper education and a sensible and positive upbringing.