What To Do If Your Child Demands A Lot Of Your Attention
It is normal for children to need your attention and approval. However, attention seeking becomes a problem when it happens all the time. Even the charm that attracting attention can have, it is possible that it becomes a way of wanting to keep control of the situation due to personal insecurity.
Many children may engage in negative behaviors only to be listened to by adults. The pursuit of excessive attention can result in your child wanting to control your life.
Many children misbehave to get attention. This is the most notorious reason for misbehavior in young children. This, if not managed in time, can be the seed for discipline problems in childhood and adolescence in the future. If misbehavior is allowed or a child is cared for after misbehavior, in the future, the seeds of tyranny will germinate.
Your goal is not to eliminate your child’s need for attention and approval, because they naturally need it. When you handle these situations correctly, your child’s need for attention can be a useful tool to improve behavior.
It is not necessary to eliminate the need for attention, but rather those behaviors that seek attention through unacceptable behaviors.
An example of properly paying attention to children could be understood in the following phrase that a mother or father says to their child:
‘Daughter, I know you want me to stay and paint with you, but I’m busy now, if you can be patient and paint by yourself for ten minutes, then I can come and be with you painting for a little while.
The girl will have the attention she needs and will learn to wait.
When your attention is too much
This will depend on you. How much wake up call can you tolerate? The rule is that children will seek as much attention as you are capable of giving them. You will have to find a balance between how much your children want your attention and how much you can give at certain times. Even a normal wake-up call can turn into stress on tougher days.
Don’t let your children’s need for attention turn into constant demands for attention. When children don’t get enough attention, they resort to outbursts, tantrums, tantrums, tease, tease, and you may resort to other annoying behaviors.
They think things like, ‘If I can’t get noticed by being nice, then I will misbehave to get Mom’s attention.’ And if they succeed, they will be producing negative reinforcement and they will have bad behavior again in the future because that way they will have your full attention.
Different types of care
The attention and approval of adults are among the strongest rewards for children. Unfortunately, parents rarely use attention wisely. There are three types of attention: positive attention or reinforcement, negative attention or reinforcement, and inattention.
When children are given attention and approval for behaving well, they are receiving positive attention. Positive attention means empowering positive behavior when it is occurring and focusing on this behavior.
Positive attention can transform into words of praise or encouragement, closeness, hugs, or a high five. A nice note works great too. Positive attention increases good behavior.
Instead, when you pay attention to your child for his bad behavior, you are giving him negative attention or negative reinforcement. Negative attention usually begins when something starts to bother you. You can make threats, get angry, or you can even resort to yelling. But negative care for children is not a punishment, it is a reward. It does not punish bad behavior nor does it reduce it, but it increases it.
Inattention is also a reality. When children are not receiving attention in a positive way, they will want your attention in any way that they can. Pay no attention to bad behavior and pay attention to good behavior only.
This way you will not reinforce bad behavior, it will not occur in the future and your child will learn that good behavior will receive attention.
