I’m A Mom, Not A Maid
“I’m mom”, what is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear this phrase? Joy, satisfaction, happiness or counter-sacrifice, despair, slavery? Although the arrival of our son into the world is possibly the most important moment of our life and the feeling most expressed with the word happiness, known to all is the problem that arises at home with the big question: Am I a mother or a servant?
Who should bear the burden of household chores? Should Mom be my servant? Is it positive and wise to “unload” the children of all work and help at home thinking that they are too exhausted with their own tasks? And the most important question: how will this vision affect my child in adulthood?
– Constance Hall-
I’m mom, not your maid
In most homes, especially in Western countries, there is a bad habit of children only receiving and not giving, causing a big problem in adulthood and making them mistakenly believe that their mother will be their personal servant.
We can come to think that it is only an education problem and, therefore, minimize the matter, naively believing that it will be solved without further setbacks in adulthood. What is certain is that the first one who has to have the clear concept of being a mother and not a servant must be herself. But you must make something clear to your child: I am a mother, not your maid.
Could it affect our son’s further development? Will he come into adulthood to have a distorted view of women? Will there be any benefits if I get to work immediately? Undoubtedly, it will depend on the importance we give to this issue and how willing we are to achieve an environment of collaboration and mutual help in our home.
What can be done about the problem
The right thing to do after detecting the problem, and even before it arises, is to act without delay. For our goal to come to fruition and our son does not make a mistake seeing us as the house servant and the supermom who does not need help from anyone, the first to discard that same idea must be the same.
Starts assigning tasks to the child from a young age
Experts recommend starting at two years or even less. For example, children can pick up their toys, pick up what they have thrown off the floor, or bring their clothes to bed.
Logically, tasks appropriate to their age will be assigned, such as making the bed, putting a washing machine or even cooking when there is no danger in it. Always resist the urge to finish the task for them because they feel tired or because they are not doing it quite the way we would like.
The aim is not for the child to do the homework like an adult, but to help him change the idea of the maid servant who does everything at home in his mind . They must see from a young age the effort behind the tasks to be carried out and appreciate them, thus becoming responsible adults.
Make the child see the importance of helping others
It has been observed that when children are assigned chores at home, they tend to put the needs of others before their own, which will lead to their natural view of helping others, and therefore, becoming in an altruistic and responsible adult.
In this way we are reaching the desired goal, that they have a correct vision of adult life and do not believe that everyone is going to be at their service and disposal, including their mother.
Therefore, if we want to be happy moms and raise mature and responsible children, let us teach our children from a very young age to see that, not only mother, but also they have their own responsibility at home. That way you won’t have to say: I’m mom, not your maid.
