Keys To Better Understand Your Partner
Life as a couple is not always easy. In the midst of daily obligations and routines, it is common for communication to fail and some friction to arise. However, the situation can improve if there is a genuine desire on both sides. In this article we share some keys to better understand your partner.
Our partner is the person with whom we share the most. The one that knows us best and the one that makes us a mirror in a clearer way. During certain periods of living together, disputes seem to increase for no apparent reason. But the reality is that this occurs because both members somehow disconnect and stop understanding each other.
To understand your partner, understand the disconnect
You have always gotten along very well with your partner, you share tastes, hobbies and a sense of humor. However, one day you find yourself arguing non-stop with your partner over the simplest things. You don’t remember when this dynamic started or why you got there, but you do know that you want it to end.
Do not worry. Social relationships are phenomena in motion that feed back on each other. When communication is positive, there is an exchange of rewards between both members that prompts them to continue acting like this. Similarly, when communication begins to be negative, one enters, almost without realizing it, into a dynamic of reproaches and bad manners.
Inertia makes the communicative style that is being carried out continue and increase. But why have we started this negative dynamic? Many times, simply by being immersed in our worries and daily tasks. Sometimes, we are overwhelmed by work, children, housework …, and we unload our stress on the person closest to us.
Keys to better understand your partner
Widen your sights
We all often make the mistake of thinking that our way of seeing things is correct. Based on our own interpretations of reality, we expect our partner to behave in a certain way. We create expectations about what they have to do or say, and when these are not met, we become frustrated.
Let’s try to remember that each person is different and that what may be obvious to you may not be so for your partner. It is important that we work on having a flexible thinking and on being able to put ourselves in the shoes of the other. Let’s not take our spouse’s intentions for granted; Let’s give it a try before we judge.
I respect
If we want to have a harmonious and pleasant relationship, respect must be a fundamental pillar. In no case is it acceptable to attack the other either physically or verbally. It is not appropriate to pronounce hurtful or humiliating words. Above all, he is our partner, and even in the most difficult situations we must treat each other with respect and affection.
A respectful attitude makes it easier for the other person to open up to us. Let him share his concerns and feelings with us without fear of being reprimanded or rejected. The couple must be a safe place where both feel welcomed. If there is no respect, it will be much more difficult to share intimate thoughts and deep reflections. And, without knowing each other, it is not possible to understand each other.
Assertiveness
Assertiveness is a really valuable tool, as it helps us not only to deliver a message, but to make sure that the other person perceives what we want to say. When we don’t use the proper forms, our message can be misinterpreted. A sincere request to spend more time together can sound like a rebuke to the other party, and then the communication stops flowing.
Let’s learn to express ourselves in a clear and mature way. Let’s try to convey how we feel and what we want without judging or failing the other. This is a much more effective way of reaching agreements. In this way, we give space for the other person to explain their point of view and we can reach a better understanding.
In short, if you want to understand your partner better, you have to give him the space to express his own points of view. You have to respect their preferences and opinions, and try to reach respectful agreements. Once the positive dynamic starts, it will be much easier to continue in it.
