The Most Common Family Grudges And How To Overcome Them
There is no family on planet Earth that escapes family quarrels. And although we all have this certainty, we insist on feeling overcome by those problems that arise between parents, children and that sometimes even include grandparents. This time we want to help you control the causes of these conflicts and address them effectively.
To begin, it is good to remember that a family is a social structure made up of its members, and that each one of them occupies a role that determines what functions they have to perform.
However, many times parents want to behave like children and seek to avoid responsibilities, a situation that inevitably becomes an imbalance that affects everyone.
On other occasions, the members of the couple have differences and conflicts that they do not know how to deal with and these expand until they affect all members of the family. Then, what seemed to be a small quarrel turns out to be a storm in which the children can drown.
So to prevent the family relationship from becoming a dysfunctional pathology, we want you to accompany us to identify which are the most common situations for which fights are generated and to know how you can solve them without anyone being harmed.
Family Quarrels: The endless power struggle
When we speak of power, we refer directly to the interest of men and women to impose their vision of the world in the new home.
Obviously each brings different customs and ideas of how the rules are established, and they take their respective families as an example. They forget that the new nucleus should be a neutral ground, in which the families of each one should not have a place.
Solution: From the beginning they should talk about the plan of action to address each issue in family life: raising children, maintaining the house, social life and free time.
It is key that they keep in mind that the two belong to the same team and that there can be no rivalry. The idea is that each one contributes solutions to face each problem in family life.
Family quarrels: Who sets the limits?
When the children arrive, Mom and Dad must agree if one of the two will be in charge of discipline, or if this task will correspond to both.
But when it is not clear whose turn it is to establish the limits, differences can emerge that in the worst case scenario are assumed by the children as a weakness of the parents, who cannot agree to prohibit or allow them something.
Solution: The two must create an insurmountable alliance with the children and with the grandparents, who tend to interfere in the affairs of the house. For no reason can mom overrule dad in front of her children, or vice versa.
Discussions about permits or disciplinary measures should be discussed behind closed doors. As long as the children do not know who has the last word, it will be better for everyone and you will avoid family quarrels.
Money is one of the main causes
A ghost called money is a factor that many families often fight over. The variables to discuss about money include debts or the fact that women earn more than men, a situation that creates a kind of inferiority complex in the latter.
Solution: The two must decide before acquiring a debt, the discussion must be based on the strategy to pay it off. Regarding the income to maintain the house, if both of you work try to divide the expenses, so that both have the same monetary responsibility.
If only one works, talk about the responsibilities that the other must assume to compensate for the contribution of money that he will not be able to make to the family.
Housework. Who does what?
Something as trivial as housework can be the perfect excuse to unleash a storm in the family environment. Moms are usually the ones who demand the most help from dad and children in order to maintain order at home.
But if you feel that there is not collaboration from everyone, you may feel frustrated and start family quarrels.
Solution: In this case, the main thing is to answer the key question: Who does what? For this it is a good idea to create a list of tasks, to whom they correspond and when they should be done. The list has to be visible to everyone, so that they do not forget to fulfill their responsibilities.
The most effective of all remedies is communication. Family members should feel confident to talk when they feel something is wrong. And the only way to gain that trust is through respectful treatment among all.
