What To Do When One Of The Two Does Not Want To Have More Children
One of the strongest differences that a couple may have to face is when one of them does not want to have more children, and the other does. As it is a decision that must be made by both of you, it will be difficult to reach an agreement, since one will have to give in.
If you are going through a situation like this, we want to help you overcome it. For this reason, we address this situation from different perspectives below.
Possible causes of differences of opinion
During the courtship they both fantasize about the home they will live in and the number of children they will raise together. But the truth is that once married, expectations can change and perhaps one of the two no longer wants to have more children.
This happens basically because it is no longer just about imagining, but about facing reality, with its responsibilities and expenses. So if you dreamed of having four children before, you may now think that you will not have the capacity to support such a large family and your plans must change.
Despite the economic variable, there are women and men who resist the idea of not having all the children they dreamed of since they were young. One may accept reality, but the other may persist in trying to have a large family, even though he knows that he does not have the best financial situation.
When the first child is welcomed, the differences of opinion are not yet perceived. But when one partner begins to propose that it is time to entrust the second child, the other may not be ready and difficulties begin to arise in the marriage.
When you want, but your husband does not want to have more children
Family psychologist Viviana Briceño warns that, on many occasions, after the first child the mother wants the family to continue growing. Meanwhile, the father is likely to stop to assess whether the economic situation is suitable and prefers to postpone the decision.
“Problems arise from the moment the woman wants to get pregnant, but her husband disagrees. The vision of one wants to impose itself on the other to show who is right. They both forget that conceiving a child requires more than just desire: the essential condition is a stable and harmonious family ”, clarifies the specialist in family planning.
In these cases, the woman may venture to conceive another child, dismissing the opinion of her partner, believing that the new baby will bring the joy that the house needs. But the effect of pregnancy can be the opposite: increase disagreements and even produce a family breakdown.
It is also possible that mom is not ready to have another child, and feels pressured by her husband to conceive again. The consequences of this would be negative and could trigger a woman’s rejection of motherhood.
If you are going through a situation similar to the one described, it is best to maintain open and honest communication. And come together to the best decision for both. One that does not force anyone to do something they do not want, or to give up something they crave.
How to overcome disagreement around children
The reasons for conceiving children and for not having them are immense and personal. The key is for you and your husband to do everything in your power so that something as special as parenting does not become a problem.
Listen to the other and try to understand their perspective. Talk about the circumstances that should surround the birth of a baby, and agree on a date to conceive again. If the time is not ripe, be understanding and in the meantime enjoy the child you already have and the relationship with your partner.
Keep in mind that being a parent cannot be an obligation. It is a very great responsibility that must be assumed and desired by both of us.
The decision to bring children into the world is exclusive to the family, so we cannot tell you what to do, but we dare to advise you that children are planned when the couple is at their best. So cultivate your relationship and you will see that it will be easier to make decisions together.
