Why Not Wait For The Ideal Moment For The Divorce?
Divorce is a fact that, once it occurs, you have to learn to manage it in the best possible way. Not only for their own well-being but also for that of their children. Especially at a young age, when it is more difficult for them to understand the reasons and the measures that are taken.
Dissolution of the marriage bond does not always have to be traumatic. But, undoubtedly, it is difficult to accept. Reason why the couple is recommended to maintain good communication with their children at all times.
Of course, this does not mean that each and every detail should be mentioned to children. There is also no reason to resort to emotional blackmail and pour out your own frustrations on them and make negative comments about the ex-partner.
It is about being honest, respectful and assertive to achieve a common balance. This translates as a healthy environment, in which, what is sought is, mainly, to reduce the negative impact on our loved ones.
The pre-divorce stage
Once the decision to divorce has been made, it is essential to seek professional support to have the necessary tools to move forward and overcome the situation in the best possible way. Also, the psychologist will help clarify the thought and this will give us a better perspective.
But what happens before you get to the divorce? Undoubtedly, the previous stage is one of the most delicate moments since conflicts tend to overwhelm those involved and, especially, children. Often times, the big drawback is bad or lack of communication.
If you wonder how long you should wait to separate to save your children suffering or if you wonder when would be the ideal time, the answer is very simple: there is no perfect time and it is not healthy to sustain a tense situation.
Living in constant disagreement, bitterness, restlessness, between fights or screams creates a harmful environment for everyone.
When a child does not fully understand a conflict and there is mismanagement of it in their environment, this can cause them to adopt unhealthy attitudes and experience:
- Sadness.
- Anguish.
- Isolation.
- Outbreaks of anger.
- Worry.
- Guilty feeling.
- Manifestations of aggressiveness, among others.
It is not good to wait for the ideal moment
It is one thing that we be considerate of our children and that we care about their well-being and quite another is that we prolong an unhealthy situation for fear of hurting them.
There is no point waiting for the perfect moment for everything in life. Much less for divorce. The sooner we fix the problems, the better for everyone.
While it is true that there are couples who decide to wait a bit to try to regain the marriage bond, this stage of transition requires professional support.
Children perceive everything and it is important to set a good example. Especially in adversity you have to put positive values into practice. This will promote their mental health and promote their proper development.
What are the main values that children should perceive?
- I respect.
- Empathy.
- Tolerance.
- Honesty.
Divorce and affection
Divorce is something that causes great concern in children. They often worry about how affectionate they are and whether it will remain the same even after their parents separate.
It is very important to let our children know that they will continue to be loved and that separation will not diminish this fact at all.
It is also important to talk with them in depth so as not to allow a feeling of guilt to take hold.
Although it is true that young children have more difficulties in understanding their parents’ motives, it is essential that they be given emotional security so that, little by little, they can calm down.
On the other hand, the couple must ensure that, despite the dissolution of the bond, there is no reason to divorce the children.
In this sense, you have to keep in touch, show interest and get involved in the children’s lives so that they feel truly appreciated and loved.
